From Tiny Roasters to Curious Questioners: 66 Hilarious Times Kids Left Teachers Laughing with the Funny Things They Say at School.

Ah, the joys of being a teacher – molding young minds, fostering creativity, and occasionally being roasted by a pint-sized comedian who doesn’t even realize the hilarity of their words. But it’s not all burns and giggles; sometimes, the funny things kids say at school are just innocent, adorable questions that remind us of the wonders of childhood curiosity.

We’ve scoured the internet, diving deep into the realms of Quora and Reddit, to bring you 50 side-splitting stories of children’s unfiltered honesty and unique perspectives in the classroom. From accidental insults that leave teachers chuckling to the cutest inquiries that melt hearts, these tales showcase the full spectrum of funny things kids say at school.

So, whether you’re a parent, a teacher, or just someone who appreciates the unintentional wit and charm of children, get ready to laugh, aww, and everything in between as we share hysterical and heartwarming funny things kindergarteners say. Join us in celebrating the candid, curious, and downright comical things that come out of the mouths of babes in the classroom. These tiny roasters and curious questioners will leave you grinning from ear to ear!

Kids Being Surprisingly Smooth

My first ever class was a reception class (4-5 year olds). I will never forget the following conversation: Me: I love your painting, you blended those colours really nicely. When you’re finished can you put it on the drying rack? 4 year old boy : course I can, darling wink – Kaywinnet92 (Reddit)

I was telling some students we need to hurry. A kindergarten student said, “we gotta put a little pep in our step”. With some sass too. – Pomegranate_1328 (Reddit)

Teacher Takedowns: When Kids Roast Their Educators

• “You’re not a very good grownup” kindergarten – lydiar34 (Reddit)
• Student looked at my ID photo and said “you look like Paul Blart, Mall Cop” – Suspicious-Quit-4748 (Reddit)
• “Why are your feet too small for your ankles? – FreePizza4lf (Reddit)
• “Cool shoes. My grandpa has a pair just like those.” – KellyCakes (Reddit)
• I was scowling about something, kid told me I looked like one of Jeff Dunham’s puppets. Turns out it was Walter. Kid wasn’t wrong, tbh. – TheRain2 (Reddit)
• “You’re a 40 year old man listening to music made for 13 year old girls.” To which I responded “what are you doing listening to the same music as a 40 year old? Really says more about you than me” Also, I’m 30 and Fall Out Boy is timeless. – DarwinF1nch (Reddit)

• “You look like a bootleg Santa Claus” – Graphicnovelnick (Reddit)
• “You look like an NPC in a video game about school.” – taylor_isagirlsname (Reddit)
• “I bet you’re into pumpkin latte and drive a mini van.” – Financial_Desk_1816 (Reddit)
• America runs on Dunkin, Dunkin runs on you – teddyblues66 (Reddit)
• Student: “Mr K, don’t say that ever again!” after teacher said “I gots mad animation skills, yo!” – Kishkumen7734 (Reddit)
• “That I make a lot of funny faces. I actually had no idea I made funny faces….” – Enneagram_9 (Reddit)

Hey there, teachers! If you need a moment to step out of the classroom and let out a few giggles after being roasted by your tiny comedians, we’ve got just the thing. Why not let our YouTube channel “StorytimeWithKaryn” take over for a bit? It’s like a virtual substitute teacher, but with way more entertainment value!

We bring children’s books from around the world to life through low-stimulation animation that’s perfect for capturing your students’ attention (and giving you a much-needed breather). Plus, if you head over to our website, changetheworldwithkaryn.com, you can download free printable worksheets to go with each video. It’s like a sneaky way to keep the learning going while you’re out of the room trying to regain your composure after that sick burn from little Timmy.

Tiny Comedians: Unintentional Hilarity in the Classroom

• During a movement break, walking with students around the track, “be careful walking backwards, you could fall and break a hip.” – mrs_adhd (Reddit)
• Me, wearing a work appropriate skirt. Student: “I’ve never seen a teacher’s legs before.” Me: “I’m not sure how to take that.” S: “well, it’s just weird. Please don’t do it again” – JudgmentalRavenclaw (Reddit)
• A 1st grader, who I knew from after school scare the year before, announced in class that I had boobies. Yay. Still remember that from my 2nd year of teaching. – Jefe710 (Reddit)
• A couple of weeks ago I wore a red sweater, brown plaid pants, and black boots. The kids told me it was “giving Mr. Rogers but, like, in the nicest possible way.” – Ice_cream_please73 (Reddit)

• Had a 1sr grader last year who always told me, “You look like a alien!” when he was frustrated. I’d tell him, “Thank you! So few people notice the resemblance. I’m glad you do.” For our last day of school celebration, a bunch of the other teachers and I decided to dress up in those inflatable ride on costumes. I chose an alien one just for him! – Routine_Ad7626 (Reddit)
• I’m not a teacher but an instructional assistant. I had one boy (3rd grade) messing with a toy. I don’t remember the whole conversation, but I have mentioned, “It’s fake.” And this kid proceeds to respond, “Like you?” Dude, I tried to keep a stern poker face while laughing and crying internally. – SoKrypticMe (Reddit)
• Your face is like the sun, if I look at it too long I’ll go blind. I couldn’t even be mad. That shit was hilarious. – CorporalCabbage (Reddit)

  

Kids vs. Aging: When Students Remind You of Your Mortality

• A kindergartener asked me how old I am. I told him “33 years old.” He responded, “You are ancient. I am not ready for you to die yet!” He looked shocked when I told him 33 is still young. – StanVsPeter (Reddit)
• I wanted to show my class a TV show from when I was a kid. A student asked if it was going to be in black and white. I was 27 at the time – sitcomfan1020 (Reddit)
• “…so… what are ya? Funny?” A student after I showed the class a picture of my wife and I. – classroomcomedian (Reddit)
• I’m bald and a student offered to organize a student hair drive so that everyone could cut off their hair and make a wig for me. – Technophobish (Reddit)

• Not me, but a student called our social studies teacher “Walmart Andrew Garfield.” There’s a shaggy resemblance. – thedeadwillwalk (Reddit)
• I have a photo from my wedding on my phone Lock Screen. A student happened to see the photo and said, “Wow, you were pretty!” Notice the past tense, lol. My husband and I also used to work at the same school. A different student saw the photo and said, “Mr. Drummergirl grew a gut!” – Drummergirl16 (Reddit)
• “My teacher friend was asked by her 6 year old pupil ‘your hair is so wet’. She was trying to delay washing her hair by another day…..” – kelly-golightly (Reddit)

  

Kids Ask the Cutest (and Sometimes Most Awkward) Questions

• “Mr. SenorWeird, you look just like Superman! From neck up, I mean, well, no not your chin but mouth…I mean your nose and eye….just your eyes…I mean, your hair has that curl in the fron… I take it back.” – SenorWeird (Reddit)
• Student:Mr B, if I had just 1 hour to live I’d spend it in your class Me: awww Student: because you can make an hour seem like forever – AtlasShrugged- (Reddit)
• I had a grade 1 student ask me how old I was. I told him 62 (I’m 44). He said, “No way do you look that old,” then he told me he thought I was in my 20s. I looked at him lovingly, and then he said, “But when you’re angry, you look like you’re 90.” – Alana Finn (Facebook)
• I have a Kindergartner that’s Filipino and the first week of school she went around saying “hi I’m Phoebe my family is Jalapeños – Adept_Thanks_6993 (Reddit)

• Me: “Where is someplace you’d want to go on a trip to? Anywhere in the world. Some place exciting!” Kid: “Like Ohio?” – savvylikeapirate (Reddit)
• I had a Kindergartner who I knew was on the cusp of reading. She knew her letter sounds. I had her tell me the sounds of the letters in cat and then I told her to say the sounds fast and see if she could figure out the word. She did it and quickly figured out that it was cat. Then she looked at me with one of the most incredious looks I have ever seen. She said, “That’s all reading is? I just say the sounds and make words?” I burst out laughing. She couldn’t believe that this mystery called reading that she had heard about her whole life could be so simple. It had to be harder than that. – Sara Kopper (Quora)

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Packed with jokes, fun facts, and a bonus flip-book animation (swimming sea turtle or blasting rocket, anyone?), these notebooks are the perfect way to entertain yourself and maybe even share a laugh with your students.

Check out our full Ocean collection as well as our Space, Christmas and Halloween collections on our Amazon Author Page

Sassy Comebacks and Witty Remarks

• Me talking to a class: “I gots mad animation skills, yo!” Student: “Mr K, don’t say that ever again!” – Kishkumen7734 (Reddit)
• “Hey it looks like you brushed your hair today” his entire class gasped and told him how rude that was. I reminded him my hair is naturally curly lol – whatupknitta (Reddit)
• Student: Are you married? Me: Not yet. Student: And you don’t have kids? Me: Nope Student: So when you go home every day you’re just…alone? Thanks, kid. Hadn’t noticed 🥲 – AdmirableScene8074 (Reddit)

• 7th grader raised her hand to ask “did you shave your eyebrows?” 😂 They are blonde and I usually wear brow makeup but I forgot it that day. It was tbh kind or validating because my wife doesn’t notice a difference lol. – hrad34 (Reddit)
• “You take spirit week way too seriously.” I was read to shame by a 7th grader. – ProseNylund (Reddit)
• Two blokes at my school went to the loo around the same time; both had long hair. “I thought it was only girls who went to the toilet together, but it’s just everyone with long hair, apparently,” I dropped. – jn.thepassenger (Instagram)

The Unintentional Burn: When Kids Don’t Realize They’re Roasting You

• I teach kinder. We were practicing our coloring and I said “no one is the color of paper. We can mix colors and make it more realistic.” One child sitting on the carpet put his paper next you my ankle and said “you might be the color of paper.” – chickenkitten2019 (Reddit)
• I’m pear shaped and teach young kids. “Why are your legs so big” gets me EVERY DAMN TIME. – Alternative-Text4759 (Reddit)
• Before I was married, my maiden name was Noe and went by Ms. Noe. I gave a student a direction to get started on their work (or something like that) and under his breath he said “Ms. Noe-it-all.” I was salty in the moment but now I am tickled by his cleverness – winifreddy98 (Reddit)

• Kid said my hair looked nice. Not thinking I reply… Er thanks, I washed it. Class stand up and slow clapped me. – Mxcharlier (Reddit)
• Today a student said to me, “I thought tomorrow was Ugly Sweater Day.” – kdusie1 (Reddit)
• Today one of my students asked if I slept well because I “looked like I’d been kept up all night by La Llorona.” No words for that one! – Any-Peak-490 (Reddit)

Misunderstandings and Hilarious Interpretations

• Me: Talking about picture day and one of my experiences as a kid Student: Was that when pictures were black and white? Dude… He was 8 too. – nard_dog_ (Reddit)
• I would often say “you kids with your short hair and loud music!” (I have shoulder length hair, male) to rib them. Best response was “you old guys with your long hair and books on tape!” – AtlasShrugged- (Reddit)
• Students after a colleague asks for a ride: “Awe, you made a friend.” Me, mock outrage: “I have friends!” Quiet girl in class: “Books don’t count.” – Graphicnovelnick (Reddit)
• During a heatwave in the first few days of school, a student left a sticky on my door with a note written in robot handwriting. It said “MISTER, PLEASE START WEARING DEODERANT. WE CAN ALL SMELL YOU.” The next day I gave each section a pop spelling quiz with one word: deodorant. – Branchingstreams (Reddit)

• I had a few kids sat in my room over a lunch break catching up with some work for English. I’m eating my lunch and reading my book, when kid 1 interrupts me with a cool fact that they’ve just read. Kid 1: Miss – did you know this dude we’re reading about was a gynaecologist? Kid 2: No he’s not! Kid 1: He is! It says here look….. After a few minutes of back and forth I ask to see the work. He was a doctor from the American state of Virginia. And so described part way through a paragraph as a “Virginian doctor”. – Stypig (Reddit)
• Once a year 11, after reading an article on dairy farming, said “Miss, ain’t it weird you never see the baby cows coming out of their eggs! They must be massive!”. I’ve never heard a class so quiet with their mouths open! He did go on to argue for ages that only humans had live births – Glittering_Heart7933 (Reddit)
• Me: remind me, what is sibilance? Student: your brothers and sisters. – evilnoodle84 (Reddit)

• Teaching about the ku klux klan and a kid pipes up ‘who were they?’ And another confidently states ‘they were a hip hop and rap group from the 90s’ – Loose-Commercial-589 (Reddit)
• ‘My mom’s name is babe’. ‘My mom’s name is babe, too!’ ‘Well, my mom’s name is ‘honey.’ – PoofaceMckutchin (Reddit)
• Twice yesterday with two separate year 7 classes, when I got them to list all the Shakespeare plays they know, two kids said “Hamilton”. It took everything I had to keep the sarcasm out of my voice when I had to explain why Shakespeare didn’t write a musical about someone who was born 140 years after he’d died – Miss_Type (Reddit)

The Just Plain Weird

• “Hey, watch this” Jumps up and headbutts an exit sign, cutting his forehead “Ah fuck, that really hurt! Why didn’t anyone stop me?” – bv310 (Reddit)
• In a mixed-ages class: 13 yo student: “Everybody dies,” 7 yo student: “Yeah but Mr. Picard will die first!” – J-L-Picard (Reddit)
• I had a student in class who was yawning every few minutes. He told me there were only two reasons a student yawned in class: They’re bored, or they’re tired. He went on to tell me he had gone to sleep really early the night before. – Natalie S., 3rd grade teacher (Facebook)

Brutal Honesty: Kids Say the Darndest Things

• I’m not a teacher, but my mom worked as one for many years. The rudest comment which she’s mentioned was a student calling her a “big fat bitch”. – Barbara Villiers (Quora)
• Male here. First year teaching, I had long hair and drank Mountain Dew a lot in class. Once, a student was upset with me and called me Diabetes Jesus. After I stopped laughing, I called his mom. – gamer_dad1102 (Reddit)
• From a four year old: “Mr. Hopesick, why do you wear those same shoes everyday?” “These are my school shoes.” “Oh… do you have any cooler shoes?” – Hopesick_2231 (Reddit)

• A first grader: “Wow Mrs. C! You sure do forget a lot of things.. and youre pretty messy! TEEHEE! ” skips away – amandalynnwin (Reddit)
• I had a kindergartener tell me I smell like cheese. In their defense I was using this new lemonade powder for my water, and it genuinely smelled like cheese. I never used that lemonade powder again – Mushroomzrox (Reddit)
• “You have a big fat booty.” ~ the “troublemaker” second grader. Written in sharpie on my speech table. – athena-zxe11 (Reddit)
• I worked with a kid who was all about the food based insults; one time she called me an “avocado looking bitch”. The classroom teacher was “a moon grape”. – Separate_Skill_8101 (Reddit)

Kids say the craziest, funniest and sometimes brutally honest things. Their views and unfiltered opinions always catch us out and make us laugh. These moments brighten our days as educators and remind us of the joys and challenges of working with little minds.

So next time a student roasts you, asks an awkward question or makes a witty comeback, remember to treasure these moments. They may make you laugh, cry or question your life choices but they are all part of the wonderful journey of being a teacher.

Want to see the tables turned? Check out our other article where we feature teachers roasting their students. It’s just as funny!

Follow us on Instagram @ChangeTheWorldWithKaryn for more funny stuff and heartwarming stories. If you have your own funny classroom moments to share, tag us or submit them through our website. Keep laughing!

Big thanks to our awesome intern, Alec Boyce, for collecting some of the funniest student quotes from around the internet for this piece. Cheers Alec!